The Wager Lost By Winning

Uncle Alan had offered to send Sky Dancer to Washington DC and fly her straight to the Santa Fe facility but she decided the Mag Lev would give her the extra time her father urged her to take.

"Be prepared. He's not the same, my dear," were his exact words.

"I know, dad."

"Not really, my child. It's much more than the loss of his limbs and the exo-prosthetic replacements. His mind, his soul, have suffered deeper wounds than his flesh. Those will take longer to heal."

So many thoughts raced and clashed while she disembarked from the Mag Lev into the thick, high desert swelter. Boarding the dragonfly helo her dad had waiting outside the station gate, she was wisked to the Synaptic Med Research facility in the blood red mountains above Santa Fe. Being waved through all the security checkpoints she soon found herself in the Bio Mechanics ward, still unsure what her first words to Jason would be.

A short ride down a lift, she entered some tubular underground passageway, white on white and all curves, the only hard edge being where wall met floor. Rounding a turn she saw her black suited father standing in stark relief, obviously advised of her arrival and waiting.

Fitz looked at his daughter with tender pride as she strode towards him with grace and purpose. She possessed her mother's raven tresses, bright blue eyes & statuesque beauty, but it was more her sharp wit & confident intelligence that set her apart, made her standout in a crowded room of revelers. It would be difficult for her to accept Jason's altered disposition passively.

"Dad..."

They embraced. Each parting hesitantly from the other.

"Is Uncle Alan still with him ?"

"Yes. Come, let's sit."

This part of the facility wasn't much like any med ward she'd ever been to with its plush gold carpet, sunny landscape murals, tapestries that looked like Pre-Columbian glyphs & furniture fit for a mansion. It had the Reed aesthetic touch visible everywhere.

"Try to remember, my dear daughter, what we spoke of before you came out. I know how spirited you are by nature but that will not serve you well in this situation, I'm afraid."

He touched her gently on the forearm. She looked at him with eyes pleading for more than that; for hope and absolute reassurance that it would all turn-out for the best. Instead there was caution and concern in his gaze and that wouldn't do to stem the welling glisten she felt of a sudden. Visibly, she stiffened. Pressed her lips. She would not allow tears. Not now. Later, when alone again, maybe then.

"Time. Give it time, Lena. Patience can heal. Simply let him know you're there for him. There's no more to be done now, truly."

It was Fitz who sensed his presence first, looking away from his daughter, to her right. Selene followed suit and when she saw who it was she sprang to her feet and rushed into his waiting arms.

"It'll be fine Lena. We'll make Jason strong and whole again. I promise."

Dr. Reed held her by the shoulders and even while exuding compassion his look was also searching for signs of weakness. He saw none.

"Can I see him, uncle ?"

Reed looked over to Fitz who nodded assent.

"Of course. I'll take you to his room."

If anyone could reach Jason, it would be Selene.

Though only separated by a year, and not related by blood, Jason had always been protective of her like any older brother his kid sister. She in turn idolized him. But maybe that wasn't enough now.

Maybe what they both needed now was something beyond taking-on the normal responsibilities they were groomed for in Synaptics Dynamics. Fitz had the New Paradigm project in hand for Selene and there was that mission in Berlize and the Yuccatan he was formulating as part of this new preemptive strike strategy. He wanted to roll it out as soon as possible and it could just be the challenge for Jason to sink his teeth into, get him focused beyond his losses. He would have to talk to Fitz about it. There could be no secrets between them, he decided, afterall.

When they reached the door, Reed knocked softly and said:

"Jason, it's Selene, come all the way from DC."

Not waiting for a response, Reed parted the door with one hand and gestured Selene to enter with the other.

As Selene stepped forward to enter she looked at Reed and he smiled, his eyes telling her this was a good thing to do. She went in, a barely discernable thud behind her, Reed letting the door close, leaving just the two of them.

The only light in the room filtered through the partly drawn blinds, creating a pattern of shadow slats along the far wall. Selene instinctively reached for the overhead light switch but at the last second caught herself and left it off. She also noted a faint vibration in the air, like a swarm of insects at a distance in an open field. That too she let slip away.

Jason was standing at the window seeming taller somehow, peering through the blinds, the bed between them, his back to her and wearing a nondescript light blue hospital gown that was grossly ill fitting from the waist down. She wasn't sure "bed" accurately described what she saw as it was massive and contoured-out like one half of a mold in vaguely human form, with a bay of instrumentation were you'd normally find a plane old headboard.

"Jay?"

He didn't say anything but she thought she detected an ever so slight head shake as if his body were unconsciously responding.

She walked cat-like to the side of the "bed" furthest away from him before again speaking his name just above a whisper.

"Jay?"

She could see the window open a sliver, allowing enough of a draft to cause the blinds to vibrate.

After a few heartbeats he responded coldly.

"Go away Lena. Please."

He could be stubborn. Usually it was some misguided sense of nobility. She would have nothing of that and stood her ground.

"We can get throught this together Jay, like we always have. Nothing can defeat us. Remember, we're the last defenders of Camelot. Aren't we ?"

At last he turned to face her. With the light behind him, his face was cast in deep shadow. She could not read his expression even just a few arm lengths away.

"We're not kids anymore, Lena. Not Merlin or even Arthur himself with all his noble knights at his side could deal with the chit we face in this crap world of ours..."

He was just down because of the loss of his legs. Understandable. It would pass.

"Jay, we can deal with the crap. You and me, we're a team. Nothing will ever change that."

He shook his head as if to say she had no idea.

"Lena, go turn on the light."

While she went to do it, she heard his movement. It wasn't light or sure footed and there was the unmistakable sound of pneumatics. With the over head fluorescences on she turned to face him.

"Does this look like it'll ever be the same for me, little sister ?"

With those words let lose he undid the hospital gown, shrugged it off his shoulders and let it drop to the floor.

She could not help but gasp and look askance.

"Not a pretty sight is it. Half man, half monster-machine..."

She forced herself to look him straight on.

"Your still the same inside, Jay. Your heart, your mind, your spirit. Those haven't been taken away. That's the truth and you know it."

Again he shook his head as he reached down, picking up the gown, putting it back on, taking a deep breath not out of exertion but something else.

"You don't understand, little sister. I can never be a man again."

It was with those words that it hit her full force, like a sudden smack across the face, and she could find no words, her mind a blank.

"You mean well, I know. But please, go away. Your making it harder."

She understood now and looking him in the eyes again she tried to lend him her strength without words but he turned away.

"Ok Jay. For now," she said and left.